Sunday, 18 March 2007

Killer worms

Let me introduce you to the noble sport of killer worms, proceed with caution.

Several kilos of sweets
5-25 mad people
1 sleeping bag each

1. Feed the sweets to the mad people until they are hyperactive.
2. Put each hyper person into a sleeping bag.
3. Tell them to jump around and try to knock everyone else over.
4. Once people hit the floor they are out- last one standing wins.
5. Alternatively, get into the sleeping bags head first for 'extreme killer worms'

WARNING- killer worms could be extremely damaging to your health

Last week I hurt my arm playing killer worms, and I have just got it out of the sling. Consequently, I have been thinking about the game rather a lot (hence this post). It occurred to me that in every game one and only one person gets hurt each time, because as soon as someone injures themselves the game stops, but no-one wants the spoil the fun by stopping without a good reason.
This could be expressed in a formula:

P= probability of you getting hurt

N=number of people playing

Tuesday, 13 March 2007


On the way home from school, me and a friend (hi Jamie *waves*) were having a conversation about conversations, I thought it would be brilliant if two people could have a conversation about two different things at the same time! There would be no more boring chats or awkward silences if each person thought they were talking about their own passionate interest.
For the purpose of demonstration, I shall now introduce my mate Cath, a Doctor Who fan who is discussing lord of the rings (or so I think) with me:

Me: Tolkien rocks! I love Aragorn.
Cath: Yeah, he's my favorite character too, his sonic screwdriver is awesome!
Me: Yes, it's inspiring how his sword got reforged just in time to slay all those orcs.
Cath: Don't be silly, there weren't any darleks in episode three!

And so on. You see? Wouldn't the world be a better place if we weren't required to pay any attention to what other people are saying!

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

Automatic doors

Me and my sister were walking out of Wilkos yesterday, and as we were walking through the slidey doors she said 'open sesame'. Now normally this wouldn't be worth mentioning, because every sane person says 'open sesame' when they walk through automatic doors, but I'm telling you about it because there followed an interesting discussion about how they knew you wanted to go through. We came up with the new and controversial theory that, despite evidence to the contrary, the doors are not, in fact, sound sensitive (and if you don't belive me, I tried it! They do open even if you don't say 'open sesame'!).
Our new and amazing theory was that the doors were mildly telepathic, they pick up the expectation of opening which your brain radiates and convert it into the electronic signals which open the door. This means that if someone who has never been through slidey doors before went through on their own, it wouldn't open! (And then they would walk slap bang into it! hah!)
It anyone cares to test this out for me by finding someone who hasn't ever used one, I would be most grateful, otherwise I will just assume I'm right (of course).

P.S. If you are from the Nobel Prize committee and reading this, please post a message and I'll send you my contact details right away, although I must insist any credit is shared jointly with my sister.

Monday, 12 February 2007

Funny Signs

Here is a collection of funny signs I have seen around, mostly on holiday when there's always a camera handy.

Evil golf buggies of DOOM! They have to be chained up so they don't eat passers by!

Just what this house was opposite, I'm not quite sure.

Hehehe- It looks just like a real road sign. I can't think why this would ever be such a big problem they would need a proper sign for it!

That's it for today, I'll be back with some more funny signs later.

Sunday, 11 February 2007

A snowman candle

While searching through my boxes of clutter today, I came across this little snowman candle. I have no recollection of how it got there (though that's not unusual) and I started thinking about what sort of a company would make a funky snowman candle like this.
Perhaps a small family candle making business was lured by the opportunity to boost their winter profits, or some manager in a huge multinational corporation was desperately searching for innovative new product lines. I think the coolest idea would be if it was made by some 'Joe Bloggs' of a guy who decided to quit his job and take up making snowmen candles. He might have only made twenty before deciding that it wasn't working out for him. I wonder if it would sell really well on e-bay if I attached my speculations about it's origins; 'snowman candle that might (or might not) be LIMITED EDITION!'
It's funny to think that every item lying about your house has a story behind it, and I often have fun trying to imagine the weird people who came up with the idea for pens with fluffy birds on top, or pineapple corers, or floating banana boat soap dishes.